Life writing
01 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
in life writing Tags: author, autobiography, autobiography writing, emotional healing, healing through writing, inspiration, life writing, memoir, memoir writing, writing
Sharon Hill - Author
Each one of us has a story inside–a story that is unique, inspiring and best of all true. Many of us have already heard that quiet, still inner voice whispering to us that our story needs to be told. But why would we want to share our personal stories? Why share the private details of your life to family, friends or even strangers. ‘I’m a private person,’ you might say. I know I did. Perhaps you don’t see yourself as a writer or maybe you don’t consider your life to be that interesting. There are plenty of excuses not to do it. But there are also some very strong reasons why you should.
Telling your story may not be an easy journey but it can be so worthwhile. In fact, I believe that it is something that everyone should consider doing. Whether you decide to commercially publish, self-publish or just have a few copies printed for close family and friends, sharing your story could change lives and surprisingly, one of those lives could be your own.
I first heard that quiet, still voice around ten years ago. It just came suddenly as a thought, ‘One day I should write a book about my life.’ I ignored it and it went away for a while. It came back occasionally, only to be ignored once again. Then after several years I noticed the prompting in my heart become stronger and stronger to the point where I could no longer ignore it. I asked myself, and I asked God, ‘why?’ After all, I wasn’t a writer and at that stage had no aspirations to become one. All I felt was that it could help others who had been through similar circumstances as I had. Perhaps sharing my story could bring certain issues into the light and give hope to others who were living their lives with hearts full of shame, unforgiveness, and a lack of self-love. What I’ve discovered since is that writing my story has not only helped others, it has brought me so many rewards.
1. Personal emotional healing
Many of us have emotional wounds that we’ve buried away and tried to forget about. But they still affect our lives in many ways. When I first began writing, I believed that I was healed from the wounds of my past. I was okay. I had survived and moved on successfully. Once I began writing, I realised that I still had a long way to go. Through my writing, I gave my inner child a voice. I became that child again and feelings that were hidden away in my subconscious gradually revealed themselves. I acknowledged the feelings that my memories evoked and with the help of a good counsellor, healing took place. I believe my biggest victory was that I learned how to forgive.
2. Healing of relationships
How many of us have been separated from loved ones, often through no fault of our own? Many of us have strained and difficult relationships with loved ones because of misunderstandings or traumatic experiences.
At the time I began writing, I’d not had any relationship with my father for thirty-three years, and I had no intention of even searching for him. But fate intervened and I found myself visiting my father in a nursing home. He was terminally ill and died before my book was finished. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’d been writing my story and working through some deep emotional wounds, I dont think I would have been able to spend the time with him as I did. I believe it was a gift for both of us. I know that his heart was more at peace when he died, and I know that the experience brought me so much more than I could have ever imagined.
Also, my relationship with my adult daughter had been strained for many years before writing my book. Now we are much closer. My story helped her to really understand me, to see where I had come from and to know how very precious she really is to me. For many years she had blamed me for every negative situation in her life. Our relationship was very unsteady, but this last mother’s day she sent me a card in which she had written, ‘you are such an inspiration to me’.
3. Leave a legacy
If someone asked you if you would like to read a book that your great-great-grandmother had written about her life, what would you say? What a wonderful opportunity to get to know a family member you had never met. Through my book I was able to share some of the life lessons I’ve learned along the way. I know that I can pass on this wisdom to future generations, not only to those I know and love in my lifetime, but also to those I will never meet. They will come to know me through my story and I will have the opportunity to share my heart with them.
4. Moving forward
Writing my story has helped me to discover and challenge my limiting beliefs. It has also helped me to realise my true potential. I was always one to try to please others and I was always concerned with, this limited me and stopped me from doing what was really in my heart. Since writing my book, I have had a revelation that was best articulated by this quote: ‘Do what you think and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind’. I’ve been unable to find the original source of this quote as there are a few slightly different versions, but they all say the same thing–don’t be concerned with what others think, just be you.
My other limiting belief was that everything I did had to be done perfectly. This was a hard one to deal with but I had to overcome this mindset to get my book finished. I had to accept that trying to do it perfectly was getting in the way of completing it. If I continued to strive for perfection, it would very likely end up in my pile of unfinished projects. So I made it my goal to strive for excellence rather than perfection. For me, my perfectionism was limiting. It was a belief that limited me and my achievements. It was a belief that I had to consciously change and writing my story has helped me to do that.
5. A sense of personal accomplishment
As I mentioned, I was a perfectionist and because of this I had many unfinished projects hidden away or lying around. My physical environment became cluttered and this drained my energy. I was someone who was always busy but just didn’t seem to get things done because I couldn’t meet my own expectations of perfection. Writing this book gave me such an incredible feeling of accomplishment and pride in myself. At last I could say, ‘Well done! You finished it and you did the very best job you could. And if you can do this, how much more can you do?’
The feedback I’ve had so far since publishing my story has been amazing. It has inspired, encouraged, given hope, challenged and provoked much thought in others. But what it has done for me was unimaginable.
Many people have told me they have a story to tell. I often wonder if they will ever find the courage to do it. Sadly, most people die with their story still inside them. What’s that story you have inside you that should be told? Be bold and brave. Reach deep down inside. Find your story and awaken the storyteller within. Enrich your life and the lives of others in ways you may never have imagined.
© Sharon Leigh Hill (All Rights Reserved Worldwide)
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